Top Five Worst Inventions/Ideas Still in Use (Part II)

            This entry continues my list of the top five worst inventions/ideas that are still very much in use today.  In my previous entry on this topic, I covered numbers 3-5.  Now it is time for the top two on my list.  But first, I’ll mention a few things that didn’t make it in the top five, but were close.  The QWERTY keyboard has to be one – that fact that the inefficient keyboard layout persists to today is a bad idea.  Loosely related is the persistence of worthless letters of the alphabet, namely X, Q, and C, which can be replaced by other letters.  I also find that words spelled oddly…or should I say weirdly…make no sense either.  Can’t we just hold to some basic spelling rules?  Another thing that probably should be in my top five is the "rule" that people get to vote on taxes for public schools but almost nothing else.  Why does that make sense?

            As I mentioned before, I think you should try making your own list and writing it up.  Let me know and I will add links.  But remember, the inventions still have to be in use today.  Without further ado, here are my top two worst inventions that are still in use today. 

Worst Idea #2:  The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act...aka "HIPAA"

            HIPAA is a law passed by the US Congress in 1996.  Otherwise referred to as the "Privacy Act" because that is the most visible outcome of the law.  Actually there continue to be additions to the original law.  Some of you probably have never heard of it and so it doesn't make sense that it would be the #2 Worst Idea on my list.  And, honestly, to a certain extent, I am using it here as an example of a law that started with a good idea, got expanded upon in the process of being put together, and then, when passed, had many unintended consequences.  Such laws are, in general, very bad ideas.  Also, unfortunately, such laws are very difficult to undo once they have been enacted.  In my experience, HIPAA is a perfect example of such a situation, it is very bad, and makes it to #2 on my list of the worst ideas that are still part of our daily lives.

            You may not think of HIPAA as part of your daily life, but if you have ever been to the hospital or doctor's office, you had to fill out at least one form that was solely related to the HIPAA law and its subsequent derivatives.  You probably didn't read the HIPAA form because you had 50 other forms to fill out and that one seemed pretty irrelevant.  If you don't work in the healthcare industry in some way, then it probably has little consequence to you.  It wouldn't make your list or even cross your mind.

            I work in medical research and I deal with the consequences, both intended and unintended, every day, whether at work or at home!  And, for the most part, those consequences are entirely a waste of time.  Yes, there are some good things about the general concepts that were part of the original law, but the whole concept of "patient privacy" took on a life of its own.  One annoying thing is that often, even if everyone, including the patient, agree that some of the law's requirements are a waste of time, it is not allowable to bypass the requirements.  It's like creating a 25 mile per hour zone on a freeway so that a family can cross from one side to the other, and then that family says, no, we'll take the bridge five miles down the road, yet the 25 mile per hour zone is left in place.  There's no logic there.  Red tape for the sake of red tape.

            The unintended consequences have to do with the “privacy” part of the law, which, as I understand, wasn’t even the original intent of the law (and the word “privacy” doesn’t even appear in the title).  The original intent was to make sure that health information could “stay with the patient” – meaning it was “portable” (that is in the title) when the patient is treated at different hospitals and clinics.  The privacy part came in under the “accountability” portion of the law.  This also was a good idea, but this is where the really bad (and probably unintended) concepts arise. 

            The HIPAA law and related laws have spawned a whole industry.  Check it out for yourself (for example:  https://www.hipaatraining.com/).  There are companies that sell entire training programs on how to navigate the HIPAA laws.  Every institution doing research had to create an entire process to meet the requirements of HIPAA that rivals the process for obtaining informed consent for research.  All such institutions now have a "Privacy Officer" and a staff of people whose entire job is to make sure that everyone in the institution is following the HIPAA laws so that the institution doesn't get fined.  That is a bad unintended outcome - at least I sure hope it was an untended outcome!!

            I don't know anything about Congressman Bill Archer, but he gets my thumbs down for introducing this bill to Congress.  This was a Pandora's Box.  There are some good things in this law, but there are also some really poorly thought-out aspects that, at this point, are nearly impossible to undo.  It is more red tape that slows progress and created a whole industry that creates nothing productive.  It's like creating a new tax that just goes to pay the salaries of the people collecting the new tax. 

            Laws with unintended consequences, baggage and red tape are #2 on my list.  But, in my opinion, there is one clear winner...

           

Worst Idea #1:  Hand Blow Dryers

            Yes, I'm talking about those stupid hand dryers that you find in public bathrooms.  It seems like they have been around for about 30 years or so.  Someone decided it was a way to save trees by reducing the use of paper towels.  They did a good job of marketing them to cities and counties and states, and so they are everywhere now.  I hate them.  If they were a good idea, people would install them in their homes.  They don't.

            Maybe they don't bother you.  They bother me because of a number of factors that come together:  1) I end up in lots of places where the bathrooms have hand dryers (like rest stops and so on), 2) unlike most men (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4504379/), I always wash my hands after using the bathroom, 3) I like my hands to be dry, 4) I don't want to spend any more time in a public restroom than I have to, so I want to get in and get out.

            The thing is, paper towels work great.  They are fast, efficient, and they just work.  It's hard to improve on something that is so simple:  a wimpy piece of paper.  With a paper towel, you can dry your hands in 5 seconds.  You can even dry your hands as you're walking out the door if you really are in a hurry.  You can take a paper towel with you to clean something up.  Hand blow dryers take what seems like forever to work and they cement you to one specific spot.  If you really want your hands fully dry, you've got to stand right there until they are dry.  I've timed them - they take maybe 30-60 seconds typically.  But that is a five- to ten-fold increase in the time it takes to dry your hands.  That's a poor trade-off.  In my observation, men are much more likely not to wash their hands at all, or to leave with completely wet hands, when the only option for drying their hands is one of those ridiculous hand blow dryers.  Further, recently I've noticed some bathrooms have both paper towels and a hand dryer.  In those cases, I have never ever observed anyone opting for using the hand dryer.  Does anyone think they are better at drying your hands???

            Part of the problem with hand blow dryers is not the dryer itself but the way they are implemented in public restrooms.  First, there is often just one, which then becomes the main bottleneck in a busy bathroom.  Again, what happens?  People don't wash their hands because they don't want to stand in a line waiting for the one precious dryer.  This is especially great if it is an old wimpy dryer that takes forever to work.  Also, I've sometimes observed them to be placed up high, which means that when you use it, it blows water all over you.  If you're in a wheelchair, then you're really stuck, not to mention that the dryers are against the wall which makes them hard to get to in a wheelchair.  Paper towels you just grab and go and dry your hands anywhere.  There is never a line for people waiting to get paper towels!

            Of course, the big supposed draw of hand dryers is that you are doing your part to save trees by making hand drying much more inconvenient.  If that was really the goal, then they should be crank operated (or put a pedal down below and operate the fan with your foot).  To install a device that sucks up electricity to drive a heater and high-powered fan in exchange for a paper towel dispenser that uses no energy at all seems like a very questionable trade-off for claiming that it is "good for the environment."  It also takes energy and resources to build the hand dryers.  Of course the same can be said for the process of making paper towels.  At home we use cloth towels, which have to be washed and require energy and water.  It's not simple to figure out which option is the most energy efficient.  My guess is that they are all pretty similar and that the impact on the environment is not drastically different among the different options.  If I were to rate things on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 = no impact on the environment and 5 = huge impact on the environment, I'd say they would all be given a "2".  Therefore, the decision regarding what option for hand drying should be made on other factors...like efficiency of hand drying!  I'm pretty sure that you could do a lot more to help the environment by riding a bicycle instead of driving a car.

            Somewhere along the line, the marketers of hand dryers needed an additional sales gimmick beyond the idea that they were good for the environment, so they came up with the idea that they spread less germs.  I assume the point was that there was less touching of things with a blow dryer?  I don't know - it's not like you're grabbing the same paper towel that someone else used.  I think the idea was that with a manual paper towel dispenser, you sometimes had to pull some kind of lever to get the next towel out.  But there are plenty of other ways to design a paper towel dispenser so that you don't have to touch anything other than the towel.  Further, a lot of hand dryers have a button you have to push, so that totally defeats the "no-touch" concept.  Maybe the argument was that air had less germs than paper???  Well, as you probably know, that concept was totally debunked.  As it turns out, hand dryers are really good at blowing germs onto your hands, as described in this study:  https://aem.asm.org/content/84/8/e00044-18.abstract

            One thing I found while traveling across the country one time when I was on crutches for a bad knee:  hand dryers are as inconvenient as you can get.  I don't think anyone thought this through.  After you hobble to the sink to wash your hands, you now have to find where the hand dryer is, because it is never right next to the sink (probably because that would be an even bigger bottleneck - or maybe someone doesn't want to mix water and high current hand dryers!).  If you need your crutches to walk over to where the dryer is, you have to grab the crutches with your wet hands.  Also, there's no place to rest your crutches near the hand dryer.  Paper towels just work better - assuming they are placed next to the sink, where they should be.

            Another limitation is if you want to dry some other part of your body other than your hands.  For example, when you drive across the country, it is not uncommon that you want to wash your face or your mouth.  Hand dryers are not designed to dry your face.  Paper towels just work better.  It's obvious.

            So, in summary hand dryers are slow, they are inconvenient, they spread germs, and they probably use up just as much energy and have just as much impact on the environment as paper towels.   For those reasons, hand air dryers are the #1 worst invention that we currently still use.  That's an invention I'd like to see disappear!

Top Five Worst Inventions (or Ideas) Still in Use (Part I)

            I know that there are plenty of lists of the “Ten Worst Inventions” or “Top 100 Bad Ideas” – lists that include New Coke, the Edsel, the motorized surfboard or the machine gun that shoots around a corner.  But those are all obviously flawed and never became popular.  And then there are lists of ideas that were very popular at one time and now you wonder why they seemed like such good ideas – like pet rocks or eight-track tapes (fade out – click – fade in…who thought that was an acceptable idea??).  As much fun as those lists are, I’m not intending here to duplicate those lists.  I’m taking a different approach.  I want to consider ideas that are still very much in use today and, as far as I can tell, probably will still be used in the foreseeable future.

            First, a few caveats and rules.  This list will, necessarily, be U.S.-centric, although I believe some of these are used world-wide.  Most of these inventions/ideas have been around for a long time.  But the key point is that they are still in use and still accepted as if they were good ideas today!  Actually, I think the #1 item on my list is going to become a thing of the past, but the others seem fairly well-entrenched in our society.  But, in my opinion, they should all go.  And we would all be better off for it!

            Given the basic topic, I had to make some additional requirements – otherwise the list becomes kind of boring.  First, I left out all inventions related to war.  One could certainly make the argument that the atomic bomb was the worst invention of all time – at least on some level.  Or that gunpowder was a bad idea.  If you think war is fundamentally bad, then these would certainly be bad ideas, despite the fact that they have other positive uses.  But if you kept war inventions on the list, then that would be the whole list and it would hardly be interesting.  Second, I left medicines off the list.  Medicines of course can be great, but can also have awful side-effects.  Chemotherapy, for example, would probably be on the list of “worst inventions” even though it saves lives.  Opiates would also be on that list.  Further, I didn’t include anything related to tobacco or alcohol.  I think the point with many of those items is that even the inventors of those things recognized that they had both positives and negatives (like chemotherapy).  So…none of those things are on the list. 

            Of course, this is my list so I picked the things I think are the worst.  You may disagree with me on some of these and some of them may not annoy you as much as they annoy me.  So…you should make your own list!  Maybe someday we can get rid of these and replace them with better ideas.

Worst Idea #5:  Speed Bumps

            Speed bumps are a bad idea.  I’m talking about those lumps of asphalt placed in parking lots or sometimes on streets that are jarring to your car.  They are placed there so that people don’t drive too fast.  To me they are extremely annoying.  They are uncomfortable to drive over and they surely are not good for your car.  They have no redeeming qualities.

            What makes this a bad idea?  Well, they are designed to solve the problem of people driving too fast in certain places.  Apparently, signs saying “slow down” or “speed limit 10 miles per hour” don’t work.  Having police or someone monitor the location is just too expensive.  But a speed bump hardly seems like a good solution.  I imagine some meeting somewhere where this was first discussed.  “I have an idea:  let’s destroy the road so badly that people can’t drive fast over the road or it will destroy their car.”  Seriously?  That’s the best idea anyone could think up???  A speed bump is like creating an intentional chuck-hole in the road, and then maintaining it so that it stays as a chuck-hole. 

            This has one of the key features of bad ideas that you will see as a theme in this list:  it punishes everyone equally when only a few people are really being targeted.  Not everyone speeds along in a parking lot.  In fact, most people proceed slowly because they don’t want to get into an accident.  Yes, there are a few crazy people.  But punishing everyone seems like a bad idea.  In fact, it makes me wonder:  if fear of messing up their car in a parking lot fender-bender doesn’t cause people to go slower, then why would creating a bunch of chuck-holes make people go slower?  Do speed bumps even work?  Yet they are everywhere.  Bad idea.

Worst Idea #4:  English System of Measurement

            I’m not talking here about the original invention of the foot, yard, mile, pound, etc.  Those original ideas are fundamental and important.  But I’m considering the continued, stubborn use of the English System to be the #4 worst idea.  The metric system is just better.  No one would pick the English System in a blind taste test.  But we, in the U.S., keep drinking the English System coolaid even though it tastes bad and is more expensive.  How can that not be one of the worst ideas ever?

            But really, what’s so bad about keeping both systems around, as we do in the U.S.?  Well…many, many, many, many things.  First, it hinders communication.  When other people across the world use the metric system, we are unfamiliar with what they are referring to.  I know that language barriers are difficult (which, by the way, probably should have been on my list), but why should we throw in something so basic as units of measure?  Second, trying to maintain two units, switching back and forth, creates opportunity for mistakes…like the Hubble!  That was one expensive missed unit conversion.  Third, the English System is more difficult to learn…and we make our kids learn both.  In fact, we make them learn how to convert units from one system into another.  Fourth, it is an extra expense for the average consumer.  For example, I have an English and a metric socket set.  And those costs are hidden in other products – mechanics, for example, have to have two full sets of tools, and that expense gets passed on to the consumer. 

            I know there are major problems with converting to the metric system.  I remember some big push in the mid-70s when I was told we were going to switch en masse – as a nation – to the metric system on some day (or at least that’s how my kid-mind translated it).  Highway speed limit signs were changed to km/h.  Radio stations started giving the temperature in Celsius.  It was weird.  People tried changing their idioms…”a kilogram of flesh” or “walk a kilometer in their shoes.”  Whatever that was (I guess that was the Metric Act in the 70’s – I don’t know exactly – I was a clueless teenager at that time), it was a dismal failure.  The fact that car speedometers have km/h as well as mph dates back to that time I think.  In fact, as I recall, cars around that time had the km/h as the large numbers and mph as the small numbers.  Well… that didn’t work!

            The biggest difficulty with conversion to the metric system, though, is the manufacturing base.  The fundamental components of manufacturing systems are based on the English system.  It’s not just that the milling machine bit is one quarter inch in diameter with a one quarter inch shaft. It comes down to issues such as milling machines being built on drive screws with English units (hundredths of an inch).  Every scale on the machine is in hundredths of an inch.  Converting such a machine, if it is even possible, is very expensive.  And it comes down to the manufacture of basic building materials.  Houses are made with 2X4 studs and half inch plywood sheets.  All totally based on English units.  And those sizes don’t convert to any reasonable round number metric units.  To change all of that infrastructure is an incredible expense.  The more you think about how the basic units of measure affect every aspect of your lives, the more you realize what a daunting task it is to convert the entire country’s infrastructure to a metric-based system.

            I don’t know if we will ever change.  I think each successive generation is more well-versed in the metric system, so maybe that will influence us over time.  Personally, I will know we’ve made the fundamental change when I go to the lumberyard and have to buy 45X90s instead of 2X4s and when plywood comes only in logical metric thicknesses (10mm, 25mm).  Then I know we will have made the leap and left this bad idea.  And guess what?  Even though I know it’s a bad idea to stick with the English system, I will not be happy!  I will still have a workshop full of tools and bits and jigs and fixtures that are all designed around English units.  Instead of being able to pass them on to my kids, they’ll probably just end up as scrap metal.  Melted down, I suppose, and turned into metric tools!

Worst Idea #3:  Keys and Passwords

            Yes, I know that this is an unusual entry and probably not on most people’s lists of bad inventions.  What's wrong with keys?  Keys can be very creative.  Coupled with locks, it’s actually quite an impressive technology in and of itself.  However, my contention is that, though keys are extremely creative, the whole need for keys (and locks) is based on a fundamentally flawed foundation.  

           

            Why do we need keys and locks and passwords?  For example, I have some kind of electronic key for my minivan (that apparently would cost me hundreds of dollars to replace if I lost it – how is that an improvement?).  I have to have it to start my car.  Why?  Why do I personally have to have a key?  Why do I have to lock the doors whenever I get out?  Why?  There’s only one reason:  to keep someone else from stealing my car. 

            To me that is the fundamental flaw:  keys solve the wrong problem.  The better solution would have been to change simple human behavior!

            Let’s go back to some ancient time in human history when keys and locks were first invented.  I have no idea when that was, but let’s just say they were invented by the Egyptians some five thousand years ago.  Some Pharaoh experienced the problem that people were taking food from his storehouses and he decided this had to stop.  He sat with his wise council and heard them come up with two major options.  On the one hand, one wise counselor suggested that they could put a hidden stick through a hidden hole and lock the door to the storeroom.  Only the Pharaoh, who would be told where the hidden lock was, would know that you needed to remove the stick in order to get in.  The second wise counselor had a totally different idea.  He suggested that they train people not to steal!  Everyone laughed when this wise counselor brought up his idea.  As you might guess, the first counselor was promoted to the position of Royal Locksmith and was famous for the rest of his life.  And his hidden stick trick lasted about two days until someone figured out where the stick was hidden.  Then that wise counselor came up with a new version of his lock, and that took the thieves a couple of months to figure our…and the cold war between owner and thief was on.  And continues to this day.  Owners make more complicated locks and keys.  Thieves figure them out.  Everything has to be locked up to keep it safe.  A key for your house.  A key for your car.  A key for your office.  A combination for your safe.  A combination for your bicycle lock.  A key code to get into your bank account.  …a password to get into your computer…and another password…and another password…and an encryption service…and so on it goes.  The battle between owners and thieves is never-ending and unwinnable.  Just think about how much time and money is spent making sure our “stuff” is locked up!  There are whole industries built around this constantly escalating cold war.

            And so we put up with keys and carrying around keys.  We have key card access which then gets accidentally revoked or gets messed up or the card gets lost. I think it would be interesting to know how much productivity is lost across the world by the need for security options.  And don’t get me started on passwords!  How many do you have?  I have hundreds and there is no chance that I can memorize them.  So, I have to take the time to look them up just to get into my own accounts.  In fact I have a password to get into this blog!  Why?  So that you don’t break in and write some blog for me?  Is that a problem?  OK – I asked you not to get me started on passwords.

            Here’s how ridiculous we have gotten with this whole thing.  A few years ago I had my car stolen while I was at work.  When I called my insurance company, one of the first questions they asked me was “was the car locked?”  I assured them that the car was locked.  Later I found out that if my car hadn’t been locked, my insurance would have denied my claim.  Denied my claim?  Don’t you see how messed up that thinking is?  The thieves have won!  Their behavior is considered so normal that if I fail to lock up my own car, it’s my fault it got stolen.  Is that right?

            Well, I say we should stop laughing at the second wise counselor and just consider it for a moment.  Why do we tolerate stealing?  Everyone agrees it is wrong.  My wife and I have raised five kids.  I've had five different two-year olds, and, guess what?  You teach them not to steal!  You don't just say “Oh well, that's part of human behavior. Go ahead and take things.  We’ll just lock up everything we don’t want you to have.”  Yes, I know - we put locks on cabinets so the toddlers can't get into them and we put covers over electrical outlets.  But that’s because they are toddlers and they haven’t learned yet.  But they also aren't going to be deep thinkers in terms of lock-picking ability.  These are simple “locks” for a brief period of time.  But when they get older we don’t just escalate the “cabinet-lock cold war” and start installing a deadbolt on every cabinet so that our five-year old can’t get in.  No.  We teach them not to steal and we don’t tolerate stealing.

            So why is it that when it comes to adults we have to have all sorts of fancy contrivances to try to keep rational human beings from stealing our stuff?  To me it seems to be an incredible failure of human ingenuity.  We can train two-year-olds, but we can’t train adults???  To borrow a common phrase…”We can get someone to the moon and back alive but we can't figure out how to stop someone from taking things that are not their own?”  Doesn’t that seem odd to you?  It does to me.

            The point is, maybe if the Pharaoh had taken the second counselor’s advice, and we’d been working on how to modify human behavior for the past 5000 years, maybe we’d be better off!

            Of course I know that fixing human nature would rival the invention of writing as the greatest ever.  However, to me it's a sad indictment on our complete inability to modify human behavior.  But, then, I also believe that human beings are fundamentally flawed – unable to live up to even their own personal standards – but that that’s a whole different topic for another time. 

            Because the owner-thief cold war is unwinnable and going to continue for forever, I’m making keys and passwords my 3^rd worst idea – only because it is a very costly solution to a common problem. Of all the things on my list, this one is the one I'm certain is going to persist throughout all of human history.

            ….NextI will reveal my top two worst inventions of all time.

Return on Investment

This entry is specifically for Christians.

I’d like to talk today about the idea of “return on investment” (ROI).  It’s a term usually used in business  and is a measure of the gain or loss generated on an investment.  It is the net profit divided by the cost of investment.  ROI is expressed as a percentage rather than as an absolute amount.  Investors want to maximize their ROI.  If they do, they are doing well!  In general, I think, business people are looking for a ROI that is around 5-10% and are probably quite happy if it is a bit higher.

An interesting thing about ROI is what can happen when the investment is small.   For example, if you buy a stock for a penny, and the next day it increases by only 1 cent, have you made a good ROI?  Yes – you’ve made a great return!  You’ve made an ROI of 100%.  Of course, if all you bought was a single stock, then you didn’t make much.  But if you could find a lot of those investments you would be extremely successful.

I’d like to apply this to investing in our own lives.  I’m talking about the Christian life here.  Our goal is to grow and to become more Christ-like.  To do so, we have to invest in various activities and disciplines that help us along this path.  It’s hard work. 

Anyway, it got me to thinking about the ROI for various activities that help us grow as a Christian.  Are there some low cost, high ROI type of activities that we can do?  Some “penny stocks” that give a great ROI?  It seemed to me that those would be worth considering. 

So, I thought about this from my own personal perspective and experience.  Are there some activities that I have engaged in in my own life that didn’t require a huge investment, but paid back with a big return?  Yes, in my personal experience there are some.  In fact, I identified three high ROI activities that, in my personal experience, are an excellent investment for your own spiritual growth.

Without further ado, here are my top three in reverse order.

#3.  Writing things down. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a bad memory.  By the time I got to college, I was already organizing my personal life around that limitation.  I knew that I had to take good notes in class and that I had to write down my schedule or I would forget.  And, at the encouragement of some good friends, I started also taking my own personal notes whenever I would study the Bible or pray for things.  It became a habit for me. 

Now some of you are not blessed with a bad memory – or at least you don’t think you have a bad memory.  You think “I don’t need to write this down – I’ll remember.”  And, probably, you usually do remember, at least for a time.  But I bet you forget in the long run.  Admit it.

The other thing you need to add to an investment of writing things down is to hang on to your writings.  And, occasionally, look back at them.

I consider this a very low investment.  All you need is a writing utensil and a piece of paper (or electronic device – easier to store things).  Everyone can do it.  It takes a bit of discipline.  But that’s about it. 

What’s the payoff?  The payoff is being reminded of what God has done for you.  Despite your claims about having a good memory, you will forget.  It is human nature.  One thing in particular you will really forget is how desperate or lost or clueless you felt before God intervened.  We tend to diminish our feelings after the fact.  Thus, one of the things I try to do is to write out my feelings when I am in the midst of some difficulty.  Once the difficulty has passed and we “lived through it”, we tend to minimize how bad it was.  And, along with that, we diminish what God did, as if it wasn’t that important.

Scripture is full of examples where God tries to help us out with “memory aids.”  Many different characters in the Bible were told to build a monument of some sort, or establish some type of ritual or remembrance to help us not to forget what God has done.  Passover is a remembrance.  Jacob built an altar after his dream so generations after him could remember what happened.  Jesus told his disciples to “do this in remembrance of me.”  If we don’t, we forget.

So, the first low investment item on my list involves:  1) writing down your thoughts, prayers, etc., 2) keeping them somewhere, and 3) reviewing them every once in a while.  It’s not that hard to do, and it pays back good dividends.

#2.  Giving thanks. 

I’m talking about giving thanks to other people and I’m talking about giving thanks as a form of prayer.  Here’s another low investment, high payback activity that not only benefits you but also encourages the people around you.  It’s a true win-win situation.  Can you ever lose by being thankful?  Can you ever be too thankful?  Not in any practical way.  It’s just a good habit to develop.

My first experience with this was in third grade.  I guess my parents had taught me the importance of thanking people already.  One day the teacher was handing back our graded tests, so she had to go around to each kid in the class and give them their paper.  When she was all done she went back up to the front of the class and launched into a lecture on manners.  She said “I passed back this test to every single one of you and not one of you thanked me…except for Kevin.”  It felt good to be acknowledged but, since I was also very shy, I was mortified.  Hah!  I probably avoided thanking her after that so I wouldn’t get singled out again.  But it did impress on me how my thanking her, which was an incredibly simple act that I didn’t even think about at the time, had a big impact on her.

The only effort you have to expend in order to be a good “thank-er” is to be observant when other people are doing things that they could be thanked for.  I’m guessing that the other kids in my third grade class never thought that being handed back a piece of paper was a service to them.  It doesn’t have to be over the top, but when you are interacting with others, it is a simple thing to ask yourself “is there someone I should be thanking here?” 

Even God appreciates thanks.  There is an interesting situation with Jesus where he heals a group of ten lepers and tells them to go show themselves to the priests so that they can be declared clean (Luke 17).  All ten are healed but one of them, when he sees that he has been healed, comes back and finds Jesus and gives him thanks.  Jesus expresses a bit of wonder than only one came back to give thanks and tells the man that his sins are forgiven.  That’s a pretty good ROI right there!

Prayer is something Christians are commanded to do.  It is just communicating with God.  It shouldn’t be that hard.  But it is!  I didn’t list prayer itself on this list because I find that prayer requires a significant investment – although the benefits are huge.  But giving thanks is one aspect of prayer that can be just plain easy.  Prayer includes asking God for help, praise, confession, commitment…a whole host of things.  But, by far, the easiest type of prayer to give is a prayer of thanks.  Thank God for the things that have happened to you during the day and for the situation you are in.  In most cases (not all, of course), it is simple.  It just takes a bit of time and a little thoughtful recall.  And so, giving thanks is another low cost, high return activity that I put second on my list.

#1.  Scripture memory.

Memorizing scripture is something we make kids do in Sunday School, but I don’t know a lot of adults who spend any time on this discipline.  In my opinion, that’s a mistake.

Now I know the first thing many of you will say:  “I can’t memorize things.”  As I mentioned before, I’ve known that I had a bad memory all of my life.  But in high school and college I committed myself to working on memorizing scripture and I asked God to help me do it.  Personally, I believe He did.  At one point, when I was in my early twenties, I had about 10% of the New Testament memorized.  Admittedly, today, I could not recite any of the long passages I had memorized back then.  But they are still in my mind.  They still affect my thinking.  I remember the principles even if I can’t quote them word for word anymore.

The second thing you might say is “why should I memorize anything – I just Google it.”  In the old days, people would say “that’s what a concordance is for.”  It’s true – those are good tools.  But the “return on investment” for scripture memory is much higher than you might imagine.  It helps you to connect scriptures together and it really helps you when it comes to the practical application of scripture.  Your mind is constantly looking for connections as you go throughout the day.  When you have memorized scripture in your mind, it gives you the chance of connecting scripture with the situation you are in in real time.  Sure, you can always look up different topics in the Bible and find a list of relevant verses.  But that is rarely what we do.  Instead we just try to figure out the right thing to do in each successive situation we are faced with.  If we have a memory bank of scripture to draw on, it enables us to think more Biblically.  Further, our mind is great at categorizing things that have personal meaning to us.  Frequently there are situations that I find myself in where I recall a verse that has personal application to that situation.  It’s not something you would find searching in a concordance because, in general, it’s not a passage that has a broad meaning on the topic.  But it means something to you.  Those situations are very valuable from a Christian growth perspective.

I would also say that scripture memory gives the Holy Spirit a bigger vocabulary.  I know that sounds weird.  But does God speak to you?  God speaks through scripture.  When it is there in your brain, He can bring it to mind at the right time to help guide you and direct your life.  Personally I have found that to be a profound influence on the direction of my life.

When I memorize scripture, I don’t do anything fancy.  I simple write the verse out on a card and then review that whatever chance I get.  College seemed like the perfect opportunity because I recall spending a lot of time standing in line for something or other.  And every time I stood in line, I pulled out my stack of verse cards and started working on trying to memorize the next verse.  It doesn’t require any deep thinking.  You don’t even have to have studied out the verse or know what it means.  All it takes is a little discipline.  If all you ever do is work on scripture memory during the times you are stuck in line waiting for something, you can accomplish a lot.  Try it!

The payback from scripture memory is lifelong.  Once scripture is in your brain, it has been my experience that it is always there to be recalled.  Sometimes I still have to look it up to remember the exact wording, but I know where to go and I know it is there somewhere.  Verses I memorized thirty years ago come to my mind in direct application to something I am facing today.  That is real payback!  So, to me, scripture memory is the best ROI for a low investment effort that you can get. 

…

So, that’s my list of low investment activities that can really help you grow as a Christian.  I’m not suggesting that we ignore the hard things – the high investment activities – we can’t.  But why not add these low investment activities as well.  When it comes to Christian growth, we need all the help we can get!

Scars

          An important part of my job is to talk to people who are considering undergoing surgery to implant an experimental device.  There are lots of things to talk about and people usually have a lot of questions, as they should.  “How do I know the device will work?”  “How long is the surgery?”  “Will I have pain after the surgery?”  And, at some point in every conversation, I am asked “What about the scars?”  People want to know if they will wake up with railroad tracks on their arms and hands and neck.  “Will my scars be permanent?”  It is a reasonable concern.  It is a concern of cosmetics:  how will I look?  Yes, there will be scars.  There are some things we can do to get scars to heal better.  Over time they will fade to some degree.  But twenty years from now, if all I could see of you was your arm, I could pretty well guess what surgeries you had done just by seeing the scars that remain.

          Are scars permanent?  What does it mean to call something permanent?  I know what the person asking me means.  They want to know “am I going to have scars for the rest of my life?”  Probably.  Actually they are almost certainly permanent.  As long as you don’t define “permanent” as the same thing as “forever”!

          If you don’t believe there is life after death, then you have to anticipate that gradual decay after death.  Your body will decompose.  And, yes, over time those scars will fade away for sure.  So – are scars permanent?  Certainly not if that is our destiny.

          But if you are a Christian and believe what the Bible says about our eternal destiny, then you believe there will be a resurrection.  The details are surely sketchy, but it seems very clear that our resurrected bodies are perfect.  Clean.  New.  No scars.  So – are scars permanent?  Not if that is our destiny.

          So, no, as far as I can tell, scars will never really be permanent…that is, except for one very famous case.  This case was made clear to us in the famous story of “Doubting Thomas”.  Thomas didn’t believe that Jesus had appeared to the rest of the Disciples.  He wanted proof.  He wanted to see this risen Jesus with his own eyes.  And, within a few days, he got his chance.  Thomas is in a room with the other disciples and it happens again:  Jesus appears in the room.  And what does Jesus say to Thomas?  "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side…”  What is the implication?  The implication is this:  the scars from the crucifixion that Jesus had endured are still on his hands and still on his side.  Still there in Jesus’ new resurrected body.  Permanent scars.  A perfect body with permanent scars.  An ultimate oxymoron for sure.

          If you believe there will be a resurrection of the dead, and an eventual eternity in heaven, you may have never given much consideration to how you will know Jesus when you run in to him.  Well…I suppose there are many ways…but one sure way is to take a look at his palms.  There will be a lot of beautiful hands in heaven.  They will be perfect.  No hardened callouses.  No crooked arthritic joints.  No scars. 

          Except for two hands.

          You know, scars aren’t always just a cosmetic issue.  Sometimes they are painful.  Makes me wonder…are truly permanent scars painful?

Lunches with Lucas – Session V

[This is a continuing conversation...to start at the beginning, click here]

“So – did you think about it?” Lucas queried as I sat down at the table, completely dispensing with any pleasantries.

“I had a great week – how about you?” I said, ignoring him.  “At the very least you should be considerate enough to give me time to look at the menu” I said with a smile.

“Hah!  Neither one of us has looked at the menu in years!” Lucas said.  “Do they even have a menu?”

“Well, anyway, I wasn’t aware that I had homework from my good friend and lunch partner.  If I wanted homework, I’d go back to school,” I said.  “What was it I was supposed to do this time?”

“I know you haven’t forgotten!  I asked you to consider changing your view of the world from “there are no such things as miracles” to “miracles are extremely unlikely but can’t be ruled out,”” Lucas said. 

I was hoping he would have moved on from that topic.  So I ignored his challenge and went straight to what I knew he was trying to get at.  “Like I said before – that’s God’s problem.  If he wants me to believe, then bring it on – let’s see it!”

Lucas shrunk back a bit and I was surprised by the intensity of his expression.  “Oooh.  I’m not sure I would say that” he said with a serious expression.  But he continued “Fine – let me try an analogy out on you.”

“OK – go ahead – this ought to be interesting,” I said.

“Let’s say you go to the doctor and he tells you that you have cancer.  Whose problem is that?” Lucas asked, but didn’t wait for me to respond.  “Using your line of reasoning, you would say it is the “doctor’s problem.”  And sure, you may be relying on the doctor to come up with a cure for you, so in some sense it is the ‘doctor’s problem.’  But the fundamental problem is yours – you are the one who has cancer!” Lucas said, emphasizing the word “yours.”

“OK – yes – I understand what you are saying,” I granted him, as our drinks arrived at the table.  “But your analogy breaks down on many levels.”

“Well, it is just an analogy, but let’s hear it,” Lucas challenged.

“First of all, I’m not the one with the problem.  God has the problem – apparently – because he wants me to believe in him for some reason.  I personally don’t care if he believes in me – so that’s why I say it’s his problem.”

“You don’t think you have a problem??” Lucas asked with a bit of incredulity.

“Oh, I have plenty of problems – like that fact that my good friend Lucas wants me to believe in old fairy tales about miracles – but I’m not expecting God to solve them,” I said.

“Who’s going to solve your problems?”

“Hah hah!  Not you obviously,” I said.  “I’m going to solve my own problems – or at least I’m going to keep trying.  I’m just like everyone else.  We’re all in the same boat – including you – we are all responsible for solving our own problems.  If I wait for some mysterious deity to solve my problems, I’ll be waiting for a long time and my problems will just get worse.”

“I agree with you that everyone is responsible for themselves.  But there are some problems that we can’t solve ourselves – we need help.  I know you’re not a hermit – you need other people too.”  Then Lucas smiled, “like me – you couldn’t have such a stimulating lunch conversation on your own!”

“Eating a nice quiet lunch?  Doesn’t sound too bad,” I said, pretending to mull it over.  “And yes, I may need other people to help me, but it is my responsibility to go and ask for their help.”

“Well…you need someone to love you – that’s a basic need. And that requires another person to do something that you can’t control,” challenged Lucas.  “You can’t just go and ask them to love you.”

“Sounds like you’re getting into song lyrics,” I said, not wanting to give in, but feeling like this wasn’t really going the direction I wanted to take it.  “Anyway, that’s not the only problem with your analogy.  In fact, the biggest problem is that a doctor is not like your all-knowing God that you say exists.  Your analogy breaks down because any doctor, no matter how good they are and no matter what they think about themselves, they are not all-knowing,” I said.

Lucas smiled and I knew he was about to make some joke, but he didn’t.  “Go on,” he said.

“Well, the God you believe in apparently knows everything – right?  And if he knows everything, then I shouldn’t have to go to him to find out I have cancer.  He already knows I have cancer.  He should come and find me and just take care of it.  It would be a pretty mean God if he knows that I have cancer and doesn’t do something about it and just leaves me to die of it,” I said.

“That’s a great line of reasoning.  In that case, God should just keep you from getting cancer in the first place,” Lucas said.

“Sounds good to me,” I exclaimed.

“But obviously God doesn’t do that.  There is cancer.”  Lucas said.

Seemed like Lucas was setting his own trap.  “Thus proving that your God does not exist,” I exclaimed.

“No – your God does not exist.  The God I believe in obviously doesn’t act the way you think he does.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“Well, you’re describing a God who is willing to force his way into people’s lives and take care of everything.  Obviously, no such God exists because there are plenty of things that are not “taken care of” in this world, including cancer.  However, one of the key characteristics of the God that Christians believe in is that he doesn’t force people to believe.  In fact, he waits for an invitation.”

“Hmmph.  That seems too convenient.  You get to pick whatever characteristics you want to ascribe to your God so that he can’t be discovered.”  That always bothered me.

“I didn’t pick those characteristics.  It’s fundamental to my beliefs.  In fact there are number of passages in the Bible that describe this very characteristic of God.  For example, Jesus said “I stand at the door and knock” and he waits to be let in. That perfectly illustrates my point.  God waits to be invited in.”

“Sounds weak to me,” I exclaimed.

“God is certainly strong enough to break down the door and come storming in.  But he chooses to wait for an invitation.  You can call that weak if you want.   I say that it sometimes requires more strength to exercise such restraint than it does just to barge on in,” Lucas said.

“OK – fine.  But that still doesn’t explain how it is reasonable for God, knowing I have cancer, not to even tell me,” I said, trying to get back to my main point.

“Actually God thinks – knows – that every human being has a problem much worse than cancer.  And he tries to tell you all, but you won’t listen.  The thing God does not do is keep yelling until you do listen.  If you want to listen, he’s there.  If you don’t want to listen, then, as I said at the beginning, that’s your problem.  He will not force himself.  It is beneath God to have to grovel to human beings.”

“OK.  I’ll listen.”  I paused for a mock dramatic moment of silence.  “I don’t hear anything.”

“Now we are finally getting somewhere!” Lucas said excitedly, surprising me a bit.  “That is exactly the point I’m trying to get you to see.  The first step in listening is for you to allow some crack in your “no miracles, no supernatural” view of the world.  You don’t hear anything because you’ve covered your ears.  Figuratively, I mean,” Lucas injected as I waved my hands away from my head showing my ears were, indeed open.  “You don’t really allow yourself to hear anything supernatural.  As long as you reject all means that God might use to get your attention, then he has no means of talking to you.  If he is not willing to force you to believe – and I believe he does not force anyone – then the next move is yours.”

It still seemed to me that this was all God’s problem.  But Lucas’ line of reasoning seemed reasonable on the face of it.  It all seemed like kind of a cosmic Catch 22.  I was going to have to think about it.

Lucas could see I was waffling a bit.  “Think about your relationship with your wife.  Can you force her to love you?”

“No – certainly not.”

“And even if you could force her to love you, what kind of love would that be?  God wants a relationship with each one of us.  But he wants a willing relationship.  Sure he could force us to do whatever he wants…but what kind of a relationship is that?  If God forces us to believe in him, what kind of belief is that?” Lucas asked.

“I see your point…” I said, still trying to think this thing through.  “…still seems highly convenient that God wiggles out of the blame.”

“I know you would like to be able to blame God for your unbelief but you really can't.  In fact, the reality is you don't really want a God that you could blame for your unbelief.  Such a God would be a controlling ogre,” Lucas said.  Then he continued, “How about if I just ask you to make this one change:  stop saying that it is God’s fault you don’t believe and start accepting some of the blame yourself.”

“Ouch.  Sounds harsh,” I said.

Lucas relaxed a bit and his face softened.  “Yeah, I’m sorry, it is a bit harsh.”  He paused for a moment.  “I think it’s time to eat.”

The corned beef arrived at the perfect time, as far as I was concerned.  Too much to take into consideration.

[...on to session VI...]