Solitude...what's that?

             I was reminded the other day about the importance of having a time of solitude away from the distractions of everyday life.  It is my observation that most of us spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the pursuit of distractions.  I don't think that's any new revelation - I think that has been the tendency of our society for decades, if not longer.  But we've honed the skill to an impressive level and we've developed a wonderful array of technologies to help us achieve our goal.  We are now able to achieve 24/7 distraction.  We got what we wanted and...well...it's a disaster!

             There's a car commercial about safety features in some car - automatic braking I think - that illustrates the problem.  A distracted woman who is looking at her phone crosses the street in front of a car.  The driver is also distracted, but the automatic braking system prevents a really bad outcome from occurring.  The driver and walker look at each other, smile, and go on with their distracted lives.  We can all appreciate the physical danger of being distracted.  But the bigger problem with living a distracted life is not the physical danger, but the existential danger.  I'm thinking about the less obvious danger of living your entire life without really considering the big issues of life:  the legacy you will leave after you die, the purpose of your life, and so on.  In fact, I think our society tends to laugh a bit at these kinds of questions, as if they were from an older, less sophisticated time.  Society seems to say "no one asks those questions anymore."  But, if society laughs, it is a nervous laughter.  If you feel that questions like "what is my purpose in life?" are childish, then you have fully bought into a life of distraction and I feel sorry for you.  These are not childish questions at all, although even a child could ponder them. 

             We like to say "what you don't know can't hurt you" even though we all know that is about as false of a statement as any.  But we also live as if "what you don't think about can't hurt you."  That is also false, of course.  We know it is.  We just don't want it to be false and so we try not to think about it.  Which proves the point.

             So, with this blog entry I am going to suggest that you try to overcome the constant world of distraction for at least some finite period of time.  I am also going to suggest a slight bit of "structure" to your escape from distraction.  However, to be honest, if all you do is try hard to escape your world of distraction with no other goal than that it seems like a good idea, you will be better off than most.  You don't have to "structure" your time the way I'm suggesting.  But I figure that some of you might benefit from some ideas!

             Here's what I propose:  I strongly encourage you to take at least three separate sessions of solitude, each at least two hours long.  These have to be real solitude.  You have to go someplace where you can be certain that no human being or man-made thing can talk to you or interrupt your thoughts.  No phone of course.  No checking of texts, emails, etc..  I really doubt you can do this in your house.

             I suggest two hours, but that is a minimum.  A whole day would be much better.  But you need at least two hours because the first hour will be spend trying to "un-distract" yourself and thinking of all the things you have to do.  In fact, it might take a few days to "un-distract" yourself, but you've got to start somewhere.  Some effort is better than none at all.

             Driving is a possible option.  You have to have the radio/phone off.  And you need to go someplace that doesn't require your focus.  Driving on the freeway across the Great Plains is perfect.  In the continental U.S., I'd say the best is to be on I-94 headed west at about 6am on a clear, dry day.  Driving around in a big city, especially one you are unfamiliar with, will definitely not work!

             A hotel room could work, but it likely has more distractions.  A park is ok...but you need to be away from other people, as they are way too distracting.  A walk or run can work.

             As you try to settle in to a time of solitude and thinking, you will constantly be distracted by the things you need to do, so you need some way of writing them down and mentally trying hard to set them aside and move on.  Your mind will drift and after spending two seconds considering one of the questions below, you will find that you've wasted 15 minutes thinking about something else completely. Don't get frustrated with your brain, it's trying its best!  Just focus back on the question at hand and try again.  I am totally convinced that the direction of your life can change in five minutes of deep concentrated thinking.  A time of solitude could lead to a step change in your thinking and the way you live your life.  Of course, in order to get five minutes of deep thinking strung together into one cohesive line of thought may take hours...days?...years???...but you have to try.  You have to try.

             It helps, at least for people like me with bad memories, to be able to write down your thoughts as they come to you.  Or dictate them if you are driving.  For me, a good train of thought comes to me and then I start moving on to something else and I say to myself "I won't forget that first thought - I'll come back to it."  Then I forget that first thought.  I don't know if everyone has the same problem I have, but if I don't write it down, it is gone.  It never happened. 

             As a suggested starting point, I have three questions that I suggest you ponder - one for each of your two hour sessions.  I have a few notes about each question just to get you started, but I really encourage you to go your own way on these.  These are the kinds of questions and topics that we need to think deeply about.  By not thinking about these issues, we've already made some kind of default decision, almost unconsciously, about what the answers are.  The problem is, these are deep, foundational, life altering issues.  Whether we know it or not, every important thing we do, and our response to most issues we face, is dependent on the answers we have either consciously or unconsciously decided on questions like these.  We've built a skyscraper on the dirt.  Maybe we're lucky and the dirt happens to be solid granite and so we are fine.  Maybe.  But maybe we've built on plain old dirt.  It may hurt, but we may find that we need to start over - this time by building a solid foundation first.

             This is your uniquely human privilege and responsibility.  Cows don't think about these things.  So, if you don't take the time to think about these issues, you are no better than a cow.

             To get your mind to think more deeply on the questions below, my suggestion is that, after you express your own thoughts in answer to these questions, you imagine someone next to you saying simply "Really?"  I'm thinking of "really?" in the tone of:  "Are you serious?  Is that really your answer?  Is that the best you could come up with?"  This forces you to think deeper!

             Here are four questions I offer as starting points.  Of course, each question is a group of questions around a common topic.  I'm hoping that the general group of questions helps you to guide your thoughts.  Personally, I would pick only one to concentrate on for each session of solitude.  I know I suggested three sessions, but I have four questions.  So...if you only have time for three sessions, look at the question you're going to have to leave out!

 

1.  Legacy.  What will my legacy be in 100 years?  What do I want to have said about my life?  What am I going to do if I ever retire?  What are my plans after retirement is over?

 

2.  Morality.  What human activities do I see around me that I consider positive activities?  What activities do I see around me that I consider negative activities?  How do I decide which things are positive and which things are negative?  How do I decide which things are good for me to do and which things are bad for me to do?  Is my basis for making moral decisions always based on how I feel about something?  Is there any way that I might be wrong about my moral decision-making?  How would I know if I was wrong?  Has there ever been a time when I decided to do something that I didn't really want to do?  Why did I do it - what caused me to do something I didn't want to do?  Do I always do the things I consider to be positive or good things to do?  If not, why not? 

 

3.  Body and Soul.  Is the "mind" different from the "brain?"  Are any of my thoughts "original" or is every thought the result of previous input to my brain?  Am I really just a bag of chemicals?  What evidence would I need to have to conclude that there is no such thing as a soul?  What evidence would I need to have to conclude that there is a soul?

 

4.  Natural and Supernatural.  How would I know that something supernatural existed?  If there is a God of any sort, what would that God have to do to communicate with me?  How would I know it was God?  Can miracles happen?  How would I know if miracles can or cannot happen?  What defines a miracle? 

 

             Well, there are some questions to get you started.  Now - stop acting like a cow and find your place of solitude!